GOVERNMENT TO MONITOR ONE TRILLION COCK PILL EMAILS

THE government has outlined plans to monitor all of Britain’s email traffic, covering everything from penis enlargement to Lindsey Lohan straddling a Labrador.

The only internet traffic exempt will be Ministry of Defence communications, NHS data transfers and anything that comes to or from the inbox of an MP, even if it has a JPEG attachment entitled ‘Freaky Japanese Scat’.

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